Childhood trauma occurs when an individual experiences one or more of what are known as adverse childhood experiences. These experiences include physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction in which one might grow up around mental illness, divorce, domestic violence, an incarcerated relative, or substance abuse.

The ACE study determined that those who experience adverse childhood experiences are more likely to present with a higher incidence of negative health and behavioral outcomes as adults. This study helped reveal the lifelong consequences of childhood trauma. We also know that trauma can impact the structure and neurochemistry of the brain, resulting in a more intense fear response.

Midlife is often a time of reflection, during which we look back on our life and assess where we are and what we have accomplished, often seeking a greater sense of purpose or meaning. We may consider how much time has passed, how much time we may have left, and what we still want to accomplish. Our increased sense of mortality can trigger increased self-reflection. This may lead to some regrets and musings about how things turned out in our lives. We may seek to gain a better understanding of who we are and the experiences that have helped shape us.   

This often leads us to examine our early experiences and family of origin. Some middle-aged parents who have spent years focusing on the needs of their children now find themselves with an empty nest. Without all the demands of raising children, there may be a shift in their thinking in which they begin to look inward and revisit traumatic childhood experiences. Midlife can also bring its own set of traumatic experiences, such as divorce or the death of a parent or spouse, which only compound the traumatic experiences of the past.

Recognizing the Trauma

The first step in overcoming childhood trauma is recognizing and accepting the fact that you have experienced trauma. It’s common for those who have been traumatized to minimize or discount their past experience. For example, a person who endured child abuse may tell themselves they simply had strict parenting.

Identifying your trauma history does not mean going back over traumatic experiences or reciting them to others. In fact, doing this can often be retraumatizing and have a detrimental effect. Instead, it’s generally more helpful to learn to recognize and manage the current symptoms of your past trauma. Assess how the traumatic experiences continue to impact you today and deal with that rather than diving back into your past.  

A Common Symptom

A common trauma symptom is hypervigilance during which our mind shifts into a state of high alert, always on the lookout for the next crisis, problem or danger. Your childhood trauma has taught you to protect yourself by always being prepared for the next possible traumatic experience. In some situations, it can be helpful to be on alert, such as when you are walking alone down a dark alley.

However, being in a constant state of high alert is neither helpful nor necessary. Living in a constant state of hypervigilance is exhausting and takes time and energy away from other, more positive thoughts and activities. This hypervigilant state is caused by thoughts and feelings from past traumatic experiences or worries about possible dangers in the future.  

Grounding Strategies

A useful strategy for managing hypervigilance is a technique called grounding. Grounding is based on the idea that when we are in panic mode, it’s because of thoughts and feelings from the past or worries about the future. Grounding helps bring your thoughts back to the present, reminding you that right now, in the present moment, you are safe, and there is no current danger or crisis.  You do this by engaging yourself in the present physical world so that your thoughts are less likely to travel to the past or future.   

The following are a few examples of grounding techniques. It can be helpful to try out a few to see which ones you prefer and also to practice them during a time when you are not anxious or panicked so they will be familiar when you need them:   

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise

• Describe 5 things you can see in the room
• Name 4 things you can feel (such as your feet on the floor)
• Name 3 things you can hear right now (such as traffic)
• Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)
• Name 1 good thing about yourself.

2. Categories Game: Try to think of types of dogs, states that begin with letter “A”, types of cars, or any category you choose.

3. Touch various objects around you such as your keys, your clothes, a pen, and pay attention to their texture, color, weight.

4. Foot Breathing: When you take a breath, imagine the breath comes up from the floor through the bottom of your feet and when you breathe out, imagine the breath goes through the bottom of your feet into the floor. 

5. Clench and release your fist.

6. Press your fingertips on one hand into your fingertips on your other hand.

7. Find all the things in the room that are red (or any other color you choose).

8. Dig you heels into the floor or press your arms into the armrest of your chair.

9. Have a coping or safety statement you repeat such as: “This will pass,” “I am safe right now,” “I can handle this,” or “I am in the present, not the past.” 

Other Strategies

Meditation is also helpful in managing trauma symptoms such as hypervigilance. Meditation trains the brain to be more present-focused and less inclined towards hypervigilance. Getting comfortable sitting still and meditating can be a challenging task. It is helpful to start by trying two or three minutes, measured with a timer. During this time, count your breaths on the exhale until the timer goes off. Thoughts will come into your mind, and that’s natural and okay.   Try to think of them as clouds passing by and notice them, but try not to engage with them and return to counting your breaths.    

Other helpful tools include breathing exercises and regular physical activity. Prioritizing self-care is also an important part of healing from past trauma. Reaching out to friends and family in your support system is also essential. It’s also important to make an effort to identify and engage in activities that bring you joy and promote relaxation. Try a new hobby or expose yourself to enjoyable new activities.     

Bottom Line

When trauma symptoms and other distress are too difficult to manage, it’s crucial to contact a mental health professional. Some ways to locate a qualified professional include asking your primary care physician for a referral, contacting your insurance provider to find out who is in your network, or contacting a local university’s hospital referral line. Bottom line, be encouraged. It’s very possible you can learn how to manage and eventually overcome symptoms of childhood trauma.

Debbie Shepard, JD, LCSW, RDDP, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Chicago who works with adults. She is also an adjunct instructor with Fordham University’s online social work program. Her past experience includes positions as the director of substance use treatment at a community mental health program and as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital. Before earning her MSW degree, she worked as an attorney in the legal and juvenile court systems.

Disclaimer: The content on this site is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. You should always consult your doctor before using alternative medicine or making a change to your regimen.