A woman’s middle years are filled with abundance. It’s one of life’s great transitions and offers many opportunities for growth and transformation. And let’s be real. It’s also a time of reckoning, vulnerability, and loss. 

During our transition through menopause, we undergo tremendous change. Our bodies change, our hormones change, our mood and sleep patterns change, and we’re more likely to experience anxiety and depression. Midlife is also a time when we might question some of the assumptions we held throughout our lives or review our core beliefs and find that they have changed. Perhaps we regret certain roads not taken or decisions we’ve made.

All the while, we are faced with losing our youth and fertility. Women in midlife are hardly celebrated in our society, which commodifies female youth as beauty and shuns the aging process. Thoughts of one’s mortality may also grip us for the first time in midlife and be a painful reminder of life’s brevity. It’s a lot to take in.

Shifting Sands of Midlife

In addition to everything that’s going on mentally and physically, our roles are often changing. In midlife, a woman’s children are usually at the age when they are developing their own identities and separating themselves from their parents. As mothers, this can be experienced as no longer feeling valued or needed, a sentiment that is heightened once our kids head off to college or move out to live on their own. 

At one time, you were a busy soccer mom, a daughter to healthy parents, a wife to a loving spouse, or an up-and-coming professional. Now, you’re something else—a retired empty nester, a caretaker of elderly parents, a struggling divorcee. As the things you once latched your identity to shift during this period, it’s common to experience a void.

Nothing is more unsettling than having a gaping hole in your life that was once filled with a sense of purpose and well-being. People will go to great lengths to avoid it. We’ll lose ourselves in our phones, eat until we’re stuffed, watch hours upon hours of television, or drink a few extra glasses of wine. And who can blame us? We do what we need to do to survive, even if it interferes with our ability to thrive. 

In light of these midlife challenges, it’s not surprising that addiction can emerge for the first time or re-emerge even after many years of sobriety. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the last decade has witnessed a steep rise in marijuana use among middle-aged and older Americans, as well as the misuse of prescription opioids and heroin. If this is the case with you, you might be caught off guard, but you are definitely not alone. 

Understanding Addiction 

Addiction is a continuous and treatable medical condition that involves compulsive engagement in a behavior or use of a substance such as alcohol, tobacco, or narcotics, even though it negatively impacts your life. It is an incredibly powerful mixture of brain circuitry, biology, and environment. 

Symptoms of addiction include the impaired capacity to control a craving, which promotes risky behavior, creates problems in a person’s social interactions, and generates things like tolerance and withdrawal.  

Awareness of an addiction does not mean a person can control it. It is recognized by medical professionals as a chronic disease, just like diabetes or asthma. This means that although possible, remission and recovery from addiction extend beyond an individual’s desire to recover or capacity for self-control. 

Can Midlife Addiction Be Prevented? 

It’s not always possible to prevent addiction, but there are things that you can do to position yourself to safely avoid it. In addition to treating any underlying health and mental health issues you may have, prevention research tells us that reinforcing our protective factors is one of the main things we can do to stave off addiction. Protective factors are all of the things in our lives that reduce the risks of problems. For example, healthy eating and regular exercise can be protective factors against a host of illnesses. Below are some ways to strengthen your protective factors and guard against addiction.

Get Physical

Research has linked physical activity with a greater sense of satisfaction in life, a more positive outlook, and reduced symptoms of depression among women in varying menopausal states. I’m not suggesting you get up tomorrow and train for a marathon–unless you want to. It could be a Zumba class, swimming in the local pool, walking around the neighborhood, working in the garden, or doing yoga in the living room. Think of something physical you’d enjoy doing or at least could tolerate, and weave it into your everyday schedule. 

Connect to Your Spiritual Side

Spirituality can mean many different things to different people. In this context, it simply means connecting to something outside of yourself. When we expand our perspective to a recognition that we are interconnected, we tap into a sense of wholeness. This nourishing feeling of wholeness can buffer us against addiction.

There is no one way to access your spirituality. For some women, it is found in religion or a place of worship; for others, it can be found among a spiritual community, a study group, in nature, or on a personal quest within themselves. When you’ve begun to feel a sense of connection, purpose, or meaning, you tap into your spiritual side. 

Seek Sisterhood 

As women, we have the opportunity to heal some of our deepest wounds through our positive relationships with other women. Female friendships that are healthy and supportive can offer a healing salve. A sisterhood can provide you with sound, like-minded advice, community support, and the allies you need to navigate the hurdles of midlife. In fact, research strongly suggests that having close emotional ties during some of life’s most critical periods is essential to a woman’s survival. 

It might be the case that you have longstanding injuries dating back to childhood with your mother or other female figures, perhaps a history of toxic female friendships. If you’re having trouble making these connections, try reaching out to a colleague, a neighbor, or an acquaintance. You’d be surprised to learn that they may be looking for a support system, too. Quality is more important than quantity, so invest in the relationships you have and see where they take you. 

Enlist the Help of a Professional 

Whether you’ve been through something difficult or are noticing a sense of unease in your transition through midlife, it might be time to talk to someone outside of your social sphere who can support you. 

Working with a mental health professional can be just what you need to sort through your jumbled thoughts, feelings, and experiences and assist you in processing it all in a healthy way. There are many types of therapy and mental health supports that you might want to explore. Medication can also help with certain kinds of addiction. 

If Midlife Addiction Takes an Unexpected Hold

When you get to midlife, you may be shocked to find yourself in the grips of addiction. Perhaps you have never experienced it before, or it may be something you thought you put behind you a long time ago. Either way, there is help. 

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to addiction treatment. Some options include individual therapy, group counseling, medications, or a rehab program. It’s important to find a treatment that works for you. This process can be overwhelming, and doing it alone might feel like hiking up a steep mountain without the proper equipment. You may eventually get there, but it would be easier with someone to help.

If you’re unsure where to start, try calling SAMHSA’s free, confidential, 24/7/365 National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Kate Dubé is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Berkeley, California, and has worked in the health and mental health field for over a decade. She is also a health and wellness writer who firmly believes that the more we talk about mental health issues, the more we destigmatize mental illness and normalize experiences that most of us face during our lives, whether it is through our personal experience or that of a loved one, a colleague or a neighbor. You can find her at https://www.behance.net/katedube.

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